Be The Change You Seek

​Hello everyone,
Paul Choelho Lyricist and Author of such great books as The Alchemist wrote the following - "The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion." There are plenty of opinions floating around out there at the moment including my own about what is happening, who is responsible and how everything should be playing out. Are our civil rights and our freedom being taken from us by our governments? Our workplaces are being restructured and we may lose our jobs if we haven't already. Our right to move around freely and go about our lives at the level we are accustomed to has greatly changed. In the USA  George Floyd, an African American man begged for and then lost his life at the hands of a white policeman while the world watched on in horror, which brought about outrage and condemnation of the actions of those who stole his life from him. 
Turbulent times such as we are presently living through, push all of our buttons on some level. My buttons have been thoroughly pushed on many levels in these past months, forcing me to dig deep into my soul, seeking answers as to why I feel, sadness, anger, fear and frustration, about what is happening in my own backyard and in the world at large. The longer and deeper I look I find that my angst comes from old wounds and unresolved issues which until now have lain dormant in the depths of the unchartered waters of my psyche and soul.
At first I raged against the machine and shared my opinions on Facebook only to find that it ignited more of the same ugliness that I was trying to shed myself of, so I took my posts down and stayed silent. Not the best way to deal with my own sad stuff.
What could I do to shed light on the darkness that was rising up from within me? After much soul searching and deep contemplation, I came to the realisation that the world didn't need another opinion about how it should be conducting it's business. What it needed was that I took care of my own business. Held myself responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and actions. How I played out my own life and how that impacted upon others and the world I live in.
Would I have the courage to speak up when I truly needed to, without my own unresolved issues attached to my words or stay silent if that was the best way to bring about change? Could I leave well enough alone and see how it would play out instead of injecting myself into a situation which may or may not make it better or worse.? 
First rule of thumb...Do no harm. Check out my intentions before I act or speak. If I am being pinged by something, I best check in with myself as to the core issues before I do harm to myself or someone else by acting on it. 
This doesn't mean that I do nothing about anything. Quite the opposite. To bring about change I must first clear myself of what resides in my dark places so that when I do act or speak I am doing so from a clear and present place of being, not dredging something from my past or projecting fear about my future.
We are all part of an unknown bigger picture. We all have an a huge affect on each other and the all that is. 
I choose to Be The Change I Seek. If I desire change in the world then I have to start with myself. Clean up my own back yard, which has a way to go yet so I'll be kept busy for a lifetime or two yet, which makes my souls journey all the more exciting and challenging, but I'm up for it.
As I renovate my interior I am finding treasures that I had long forgotten and wisdom that can only come from allowing myself to be brutally honest with myself.
Remember that love heals all wounds. It's challenging to feel love and forgiveness for something or someone who we feel has hurt us so badly. We believe we are angry and hurt by someone else but the truth of the matter is that we are most angry at ourselves for not being stronger, wiser, listening to our insides. Believing we are not lovable or worthy of kindness and compassion. Constantly living in our woundedness. Whatever story we tell ourselves we have to ask is it serving us to change, heal and grow.
The antidote to feeling wounded is to remember that we chose to be here and we knew what we were coming to. We chose this life for our learning and enlightenment. It would be such a waste of a few decades of times if we couldn't find empathy and forgiveness for ourselves and each other. 
I'll finish with the wisdom of another wise soul - 
“As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself... Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.” Nelson Mandela
I wish you much love and light.
Olwynne